Update

Well I made a B in business class.

WHAT ABOUT MY OTHER SHIT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH--

Van Hunt - Seconds of Pleasure

I Haven't Eaten Dinner Yet

So many things due so many things due so many things due and i still have a post due here too oh god what do i do now and my grades are coming in by the 7th uh oh what if i fuck up again no that cant happen because i will be keeeeeeeled

Yeah. Finals are always fun.

Shouldn't I Be Doing Homework Instead?

I won't. I can't. I DON'T. Wait what am I *really* talking about here?

FUCK.

Simmer

The earliest memory I have of my dad is when I was three years old. I know that I was three because I am sitting on the chocolate-colored rug that only existed in my old house, before the fire. He’s pointing the video camera at me and this baby blue, larger-than-life teddy bear that towers over my squat, chubby frame. He’s talking too, but nothing audible comes out; the entire scene plays out in silence inside my head. Smiling, he waves and gestures for me to hug my new gift, which I eventually do after much coaxing. Once the Kodak moment is captured, he sets the camera down and picks me up, engulfing me in his big dad-arms that smell like food and smoke because he has just gotten off from working at the restaurant. I bury my face in his chest and inhale.

The latest memory I have of my dad is the January morning I left to return to Middlebury. We’ve been sitting in his truck for over an hour, driving to the airport in no particular hurry. We’re also in the middle of a lull because he has just finished shouting (or in his mind, lecturing) at me for my lack of drive and motivation at school while I have put on the earphones to my iPod to block out the words, wondering why I had let mom convince me last night to ask him to take me instead. You hardly talk to him anymore, she said, spend some time with him. He’s missed you. Don’t you miss him? I had pretended not to hear her question, and now it’s reverberating inside the walls of my mind, refusing to go away. I sneak a glance. Having fallen silent, his eyes stay on the road, so I finally close mine after wiping the last of my tears away.

~*~*~*~*

Someday, I will write you. It's just taking a long time.

Drive

For once, I have a post title that isn't vague and silly. It's about my CAAAAAARRRR. My gorgeous blue caaaaaaaaar that I get to drive all the time nooooooow, and I'm in luuuurv. I'm going to marry my car. I've already named it. She is Priscilla.

GO ON JUDGE ME I DON'T CAAAAARE.

Also, driving stick shift again is such a relief. I feel more like myself on the road, vrooming around in a mini-racecar.

SOMEBODY RACE ME.

Boardwalk Mess

- AAH LUCKY AND GILLIAN BACK ON I KNEW IIIIIIT WHOOOO LOOK AT THEIR WALL SEX SO HOT

- WAAANNH NO RICHARD AND ANGELA WHERE DID THEY GO OH I KNOW THEY'RE OFF HAVING WALL SEX TOO BUT WHY'S IT GOTTA BE OFFSCREEN SHOW ME

- YES YES YES YES OWEN AND MARGARET YES actually I would have preferred if their sex scene was implied *offscreen*--when she went upstairs and said, "You can bring the bag up" that's where the episode should have ended. More tasteful for them that way. Ahem. Tasteful? >_>

- WAIT WHAT ABOUT CHALKY WHITE? BRING HIM BAAAAACK

- YEAH LUCY'S FINALLY GONE

- Van Alden why you so boring snoooooooore--zzzzz

Yeah that's pretty much it.

Forever 21

a brief commentary on last night's festivities:

- best friend y u no tell me you liked me fresh year we could have hooked uuuuup and then had a horrible breakup a few weeks later

- mystery girl y u dance with me in all your gorgeousness and then leeeeave. YOU OWE ME A BIRTHDAY MAKEOUT

- Y WERE YOU SICK. she wanted your pants and i could have taken the couch.

- oh god my homework why didn't I finish it all OOPS

- FUCK I FORGOT TO TAKE PICTURES OF THE HOT MESS-NESS FUUUUUUCKITY

~*~*~*~*~*

In other news, I'm 21.

M. M.

Dammit I never know what to say to you. And I feel like I'm always failing some secret test of yours and that it doesn't surprise you at all.

GIVE ME THE ANSWERS.