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Sunday, March 9, 2014

Self-Portrait



When I see myself in the mirror every morning, a few breakouts are sprinkled along my hairline and between my eyebrows. The shadowy circles under my eyes have been carved on from poor sleeping habits and anxiety. My feet shift restlessly, rough, calloused heels rubbing against each other. As I change shirts, I can’t help but study my armpits, the skin there darker than the rest of me, nearly the same shade as the sensitive flesh of my innermost thighs. Sometimes, my hands wander and gingerly prod the additional breakouts erratically scattered across my back. Sometimes I scratch the places where they’ve scabbed. Then the underwear slides past my knees, and I have another area to scrutinize.

My mons pubis is discolored and scarred from years of plucking, pulling, and other painful hair-removal methods. I hated the way it looked when I had just begun puberty. All through high school, I systematically groomed myself, breaking the skin often because I was careless so it’d bleed, scab, scar, and score yet another mark on the tender triangle of flesh between my legs. I don’t exactly volunteer this information right before I sleep with someone, but I usually try to dim the lights by the time the both of us are naked. 

None of my partners have ever breathed a single comment about any of the things just mentioned though. I have moments of doubt, in the split second their eyes flick down to drink in the sight of me, that they’ll see what I see, spot what I spot, hate what I used to hate but now merely agonize over. They never say a word. They open their arms, draw me close, kiss the curve of my neck, and my insecurities fade into the background again. 

Maybe they never notice them. Maybe they do, and don’t care. Maybe they see them and like them for what they are: every scar, every mark, every scab, every discolored dot of flesh—a collection of tiny (im)perfections that coalesce into someone flawed. Like me. Maybe none of it matters once the clothes come off because there are telltale faults on the landscape of their bodies, and when I see them, I realize how quickly they’re forgotten in the wake of exploring other secret corners. 

The older I get, the less important my body issues become. Eventually none of this will mean anything at all.