April Fools -- Who, Me?

It's been exactly one year since I received my acceptance letter to Middlebury. My mom called me while I was volunteering at a shelter, and at first she wouldn't tell me which school the letter was from. She told me the letter was small and innocuous, and I had sighed, already assuming it was yet another rejection--another pretend sincere apology letter to add to my then-growing collection. So I was pleasantly surprised when she screeched over the phone that the letter was from Middlebury, and that I had been accepted, and suddenly my entire high school career actually made sense. Of course, that feeling didn't last for long.

And now look at me. I'm in Middlebury, just like I wanted, despite the increasing financial burden that this school has placed on my parents. This was what I wanted. This is what I want, right? And will this continue to be what I want? I can't say. Sometimes I'm so happy I came here, and sometimes I just want to quit school and become a bum or work at Waffle House (I really do like their hats.) Those moments are fleeting though, so I shouldn't worry too much.

Today's April Fool's Day. No one's played a prank on me yet, but I thought my mother was a year ago. And now that I'm looking back on it, I wonder: was I the fool for coming here? For thinking that college would give me a complete makeover and solve all my problems? For being so sure that I would "find myself" here? In Vermont?

The answer of course is yes. You wouldn't find a bigger fool on campus than me right now.