Street Lights

I'm leaving at 3 in the morning for the airport, where I will then spend approximately 24 collective hours in some plane or other traveling to Indonesia. Hurray. Then I will island hop from city to exotic locale to city again for about two weeks, finally settling down in Jakarta on June 12-13. Hurrah. After that, if I get the job at the largest commercial bank in Indonesia (Bank Danamon), I will work without pay until July 20 or so, then fly back on the 25th. So I will be home on July 28 (maybe?!). With...my brother in tow. And maybe my grandma. Which would mean I'd be flying an international flight while trying to ferret my relatives across and not getting hopelessly lost AT THE SAME TIME. Party time.

So...I'll be home from then on until Saturday, Sept 5.

~~

Did I mention that I still haven't turned in something for school? Yeah...need to get on that : |

~~

STREET LIGHTS BY KANYE WEST IS STUCK IN MY HEAD. GET IT OUT NOW.

This is Why I Haven't Been Posting

This is a Blog About Nothing

So yeah...it's been a week since I've arrived home.

And I'm bored out of my fucking mind.

Granted, I only have five days left before I fly for Indonesia and stay there for two months. But still. It's another five days of: working, eating, rewatching Grey's Anatomy on my laptop, refreshing Facebook over 9000 times, trying not to inflict too much bodily harm on my brother, and...thinking about Another Guy Who Has Yet Again Screwed Me Over. (Go Esa.) Anyway, I suppose that after a few more weeks, I could have gotten used to it (maybe even enjoy it), but as of right now, I'm. Still. Bored.

Also, I'm miffed. Dammit, I want another boytoy : /

Here It Goes Again

Once again, I've lost another one. Oh goody. You'd think by now the ridiculous 8-person streak I've been pulling along would have SNAPPED IN HALF BUT NOOOOOO. I think I have this sign on my forehead, visible to everyone but me, that says: I'm reasonably attractive. If you like me and know that I'm interested too, then you should make out with me and immediately avoid me like the swine flu afterward or pull an awkwardly crafted excuse out of your ass for why you no longer wish to see me. Because apparently, I LOVE that.

To all the potential men in my life: Grow a pair.

To all the potential women in my life: Come on in.

~~

Man, fuck this shit.

The End of an Era

Alright, first things first:

I still have a ten-page paper to do before my 1:00PM flight later today. Right. I should definitely get on that after this post. Anyway, now I can get to the real meat of this post: introspection and reflection!!! (and whatever "-tion" word you can think of.)

~~

One class grade for the spring semester is going to suck EPICALLY. I can only imagine how my parents will punish me (i.e. lecture me to death) this time around after fucking up AGAIN >___> Luckily, we will be in Indonesia by the time final grades are released into the Internet jungle. And I think I'm freaking out about grades too much. Sigh, again. Stop that @__@

So yes, this school year has gone by freakishly fast. Initially, it seemed to drag on during September/October, but now I find myself wishing to stay here for a few more days. Maybe a week. Or, I could just fly all my friends to Georgia, tadaaaa! XD No really, Middlebury had its FAIL moments, but for the most part, I truly did enjoy it here. I even managed to complete one goal of mine that was on a List of Things to Do in Middlebury: "discover" myself. Eww, sounds so cheesy, but that's exactly what happened. I think I know myself a lot better, and I'm also much more comfortable in my own skin. Granted, I'm still awkward as shit, but I like to think that it's a very endearing sort of awkwardness.

And now on to more random items:

- wtffff I just watched Grey's Anatomy season finale and son, that was some BULLLSHIIIT like WHAAAT!?!? George is not allowed to die like that. Nope, he just isn't v_v But hurray for the Owen/Cristina HOTNESS YEEEHH!!!

- I had a very crazy dream last night that involved a nail going through my hand, immediate first aid care, a car chase, a sketchy-looking school building, and The One Guy Who Refuses to Be Purged From My Thoughts Goddammit >__> Go away, you.

- I keep looking at your pictures on Facebook. Why do I keep looking at your pictures on Facebook? I am not hooking up with you this summer. Actually, NEVERRRR. NEVERRRRR. Stop looking at the pictures on Facebook, Esa! It's bad news, bad news!

~~

I MISS EVERYONE AT HOME!!! BUT I'LL MISS EVERYONE AT MIDDLEBURY!! AAHHHH!!! LOOK OUT, PEOPLE, ESA IS RETURNING IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS.

An Airing Out of Grievances

(Warning: I reveal some very personal information about myself. Read with caution.)


Alright, it's been building up over a ninth-month period, and I can't take it anymore. Sorry, roommate, I have to do this:

- What is with the guitar playing? You practice the same songs over and over and OVER and you never get better. Come on, can't you practice something new? I'm sick of hearing Taylor Swift songs, especially the first ten seconds of "White Horse."

- Stop singing. Or if you must, don't do it while I'm in the room. Please. For the love of God, seriously. I remember you telling me that you were in your high school choir, and I remember going, "Oh, really? You don't look like you can." And guess what? I'M RIGHT. SO VERY VERY RIGHT. You can't sing. SO STOP SINGING.

- Why can't you sleep at normal hours? You know, around midnight or one. I'm the always the roommie who goes to bed at midnight and has to ask you to turn down the volume of whatever reality show you're watching that week and then I climb in bed and then I try to wait for you to go to sleep so I can GET MYSELF OFF. And then--and then--YOU NEVER GO TO BED. ARE YOU AN INSOMNIAC? Come on, stupid girl! I have needs and I can't do it with you AWAKE. Obviously, I can't do it during the day because I have class and whatnot so the only solution is nighttime. And you totally ruin it for me. Thanks *ever* so much.

- And what's with your Indian friend always barging into the room looking for you hmm? WITHOUT KNOCKING? One time, she came in while I was naked. Yep, completely starkers. Wonderful, huh? I already mentioned this to you, and I bet you didn't tell her. Right. I LOATHE YOUR FRIEND. I've put up with her rude barge-ins AAALLL year long, and I swear to all that is good and holy, if she comes in this last week it won't matter if I'm in my undies or not. Shit will go down.

- Finally finally FINALLY, I think you may have some kind of disorder. You know, like an inability or handicap. Would you like to know why I think this? I will tell you: because every day when I open the door to my room, I must go through a maze of misplaced shoes, articles of clothing, and make-up apparatus in order to reach my desk (or my book shelf.) All of which do not belong to me. Sometimes throughout the year, I wonder if it bothered you. All that shit on your side of the room spilling onto my side. But I guess not because you've allowed your refuse to fester and multiply like bacteria, insidiously infecting my things. Sigh...

WHY THE FUCK CAN'T YOU CLEAN YOUR GODDAMN ROOM? AT LEAST THROW AWAY YOUR FOOD STUFF IN THE GARBAGE CANS OUTSIDE THE ROOM SO I DON'T HAVE TO RUN INTO A WALL OF STENCHY MOLDY FOOD WAFTING FROM YOUR SIDE OF THE ROOM. I'M SO EMBARRASSED WHEN MY FRIENDS VISIT, DO YOU KNOW THAT? WUOFHSLDBLSJBDLJQW THANK GOD I'M GETTING A SINGLE NEXT YEAR.

/long-anticipated rant

If You Haven't Noticed...

Lately, my posts have been very...short. Brief. Basically lists of shit I have to do XD This is the last week, after all. Exams, Packing, Saying Goodbyes--not much else is on my mind. Of course, there's my anxiety about going home. Sigh: back to rules. But good food. back to working. But nice room that is ALL MINE. back to insufferable Georgia heat. But there's always MY POOL. So you see, I'm rather conflicted. I still can't decide if going back home is a good or bad thing.

Oh hurrah, I have parent-child clashes to look forward to. I know it will happen. How can it not? But...there's always something (or someone) to occupy my time. Oh boy >___> Don't say it, Esa. <-- br="" don="" i="" t="" won="" worry="">
And then there's the whole thing with my parents shipping me off to Indonesia for two months. Yeah, that. Not too pleased. All of June and most of July? HOW WILL I SURVIVE WITHOUT INTERNET? AND FRIENDS? AND HOT FRIES? KDSBGKDHBVKBGKEWHBG--

*slaps self* Right, now I'm just rambling. When I should be studying for 2 more exams. And typing up a resume. And working on The Modern China Paper That Simply Refuses To Die. And. And. And. And.

@___________________________________@ I need some chill pills.

Six Days, Seven Nights...wait what?

1. Final Short Story

2. French Exam

3. Italian Renaissance Art Exam

4. Modern China Exam

5. Send Resume to Relative in Indonesia

6. Clean Room

7. Pack Stuff

8. Unloft my Bed O_O

9. Move Shit to Storage Room next Friday

10. a certain paper that is now due by tuesday, may 19th (ssh)

~~

I want to go home and I don't want to go home. Is that a bad thing?

Brown-Nosing is Not a Competitive Sport

Alright, look.

When I'm in a lecture class, I like to listen to the professor talk. You know, because it's a lecture class. The professor lectures. I take notes. Then everything is hunky-dory. If you, the generic college student, want to ask a question, go right ahead. Sometimes I want to ask questions too (although I never ask them >_>). But please please PLEASE don't carry a discussion with the professor. I don't want to hear about your extensive knowledge of Roman antiquity or ancient Greek literature. I don't want to hear your nasally, scratchy voice puncture a blissful silence of note-taking every five minutes.

SHUT UUUUUPPPP T_____________T

The Doctor Game

Symptoms:

- crawling feeling on the skin
- constant goosebumps
- overall restlessness
- hyper-awareness of physical contact
- breathless sensations

Diagnose me, House! (Actually, don't. I know already) >_______________>