When I Wasn't Looking

What happened to you since last May? I don't even know you anymore. Or maybe, this is who you've always been, only you had to conceal yourself for all of high school. I'll never know.

I haven't talked to you in weeks. When we met right before I left for Indonesia, the gap between our own discourse(s) couldn't be wider or disconcerting. Were we on the same plane of existence? And then I got it, and as soon as I got it, I became so...sad. My mind's version of you no longer matched what was in front of me, and had I been paying attention more over freshman year, I could have done something about it. Adapted. Accepted. Tolerated? And now it's too late.

I didn't get to say goodbye to the old you because I thought you'd always stick around. I was so stupid to assume that. I want to stay friends with you. I can't lose another close friend from high school. I hope you feel the same way.

But how can I continue to be friends with someone like you? This...asshole you've become.