Color Me Red

I've noticed a trend. I don't much like it. Throughout my life, I've met many people. I've liked some, disliked some, hated some, befriended some, etc. I've also envied some with a glowing green passion, whether it was for their looks, intelligence, material possessions, what-have-you. After absent-minded thought of all the people I've ever been jealous of, I came to a startling realization. The girls I envied most are all redheads. How strange.

Anna Krueger

She had perfect hair and perfect grades and a perfect boyfriend. Her stellar academic record scored her an all-inclusive scholarship to UNC-Chapel Hill, complete with a complementary laptop. In the eyes of her teachers and family, she could do no wrong.

Anna Stephenson

Anna is curvy, bubbly, and offbeat in that non-offensive "I'm silly and weird, but not too silly and weird, just enough to attract the cute quirky guys" way. She travels all over the world and has a steady relationship with Nathan for two years running now.

Claire Sibley

Claire is really fucking gorgeous. Her hair is made of sex. She is dominating, controlling, manipulative, and always has an agenda. Smart and opinionated, HFC speaks her mind in class and doesn't give a fuck what other people think of her. I want her personality.

So yes. Redheads--strange creatures, are they not? I was mildly spooked when I noticed this trend. I hope there aren't anymore redheads here in college to turn me green. I've already got an unsavory personality, no need to make it worse.