I'm a Cold Bitch?

Shit, it's happening again. I'm getting bored. Not because I have nothing to do, no. I'm getting bored of someone else again. Alright alright I'll blurt it out, never mind how cruel it looks on e-paper: I am bored of my boy toy already. Hasn't even been a full two weeks and already I want to ignore his texts and hope he doesn't try anything when I come back home for the summer. Argh, I knew this would happen.

Why? Why do I do this? Is it because I suspect HE may be the one getting attached? Is it because I know too much about him now, thus rendering him uninteresting and normal? Is it because he's all the way in Georgia, and I'm all the way in Vermont? Is it because I'm so burdened with work now I can't be bothered with shit at home? Is it because I never even wanted him in the first place and that I simply received his advances in order to boost my cripplingly low self-esteem??? (Don't answer these questions. Please. I already know the answers.)

In any case, this sucks. I must get to the bottom of it. So once again, I discover another part of myself in college.

An Itch I Can't Scratch

Warning: The following post contains material not suitable for younger viewers. If I were to assign this post a film rating, it would be a hard R. Perhaps X if I decide to be really frank.

That is all.

~~

You make me feel hot. Like the surface of the sun hot. Like Brokeback Mountain hot. Like make-up sex hot. You let me boss you around and tell you where to touch, how to touch, and for how long. You make me want to give back as you much you do, which NEVER happens with any of my encounters. I'm normally very selfish (or just plain uninterested), but there's something about the way you bite me...

And pull my hair. And grip my hips. And blow into my ear. How you tell me that you've never been with a non-white girl before, let alone a college student. How you growl when I yank your hand away from my pants zipper (No, never that. I don't care how good you are.) And how we casually greet each other at work, the others blissfully unaware of our late night rendezvous.

You piss me off so badly. You're perverted and vulgar, and use the n-word liberally (even though you try to excuse it with a feeble "I've got black friends so it's okay." Are you kidding me? It's never okay.) You bait me until you have me near-shouting at you and wringing my hands in frustration. You're cocky and arrogant with a smirk to match, and just when I think you've reached maximum level of macho chauvinistic pig offensiveness, you always manage to exceed expectations.

So I piss you off. I don't tell you what I'm thinking, or repeat what I mumbled under my breath. I try to trip you while you're walking with a full tray of drinks. I call you out on your bullshit. I make fun of your truck. And I tease you mercilessly. All of these things aren't much, but when I do 'em, I'm in full Bitch Mode (which, incidentally, turns you on.)

I can feel you look at me sometimes. Your eyes seem to peel my apron off, pull up my uniform shirt, slide underneath the underwire of my bra. You never stare for more than a couple of seconds though. I don't let you see me shiver.

You make the possibility of me being a lesbian completely absurd.

Exhilarating. Absolutely unreal. Definitely Something New.

So it's too bad I'm going back to school in a few days. I could have had more fun.

I could have written more posts like this.

Homewrecker: Asian Edition

I admit it: I haven't been the most Goody-Goody Two Shoes I can possibly be. I mean, I've partied. Drank. Smoked. You know, College Student Stuff. But what happened the night before...was an entirely brand new level of Badness. Hell, I surprised myself. I really think I did not have it in me.

SHIT.

Oh well. It happened. In a car. At midnight. On the House of China II parking lot located across a well-lit Huddle House from which people could file out, turn around, and spot two silly little adolescents sucking face in an innocent-looking Chrysler.

SHIIIIIIIIIIIT.

I'm not the one at fault @_@ He should be the one at fault. He's the one with "prior commitments," not me. NOT ME. NOT MEEEEEE. Also, I'm dwelling on this too much. Why am I dwelling on this so much? It wasn't awkward the next day. We didn't do anything *too* out of bounds. I should just forget this whole thing ever occurred. Right?

HE WORKS FOR MY MOTHER O______________O

Now I remember why I'm freaking out. Shitty McShit. SHIT. And ASS.

This wasn't supposed to happen. I turn into Ugly Chinese Girl when I go home. At college, I'm hot. In Georgia, I'm really really not. This does not make sense. White redneck males in rural Georgia don't go for liberal freewheeling Asian girls like me. Can somebody explain this to me?!?!?!?!

Pretty please?