Going Once, Going Twice

I'll be your perfect friend, your best friend, if you'd just give me a chance.

I'll listen to anything you say without judgment and bring you food from the dining halls when you're too sick to even sit up on your bed. I'll help you with your homework and assuage you with reassuring comments about your self-image when you have one of those days. I'll trail behind you and let you have the spotlight when we're talking with our other friends because I'm the sidekick, and you're not. I'll take your side on any argument, no matter how wrong you may actually be. I'll be your rock. I'll bear any insult/low blow you throw at me without comment. I'll be the one person, the only person, to whom you can be a complete asshole. I'll be anything you want me to be.

Because I am that perfect friend. I am that best friend. So don't replace me. Please.