Potential is Beautiful

I know people don't believe me when I say that I don't mind staying in the so-called dreaded friend zone, but I really don't. After all, I've been in this same exact position for the past two years (with the exception of one sham of an ex-relationship) so why should this time be any different? I can't say with certainty that I do indeed belong to the Friend Zone, but I'd rather not find out. I'll just assume. Makes it easier.

This feared area may seem like the end of the world, but to me, it's this vast plain of unrealized possibilities. The could-have-beens, the what-ifs, the should-have-beens, the if-onlys. An oasis for my imagination. I may never experience The Reality, but I can always wrap myself in conjured images and hypothetical situations--if they're already so vivid inside my head then do I truly need a tangible version too? Daydreams are enough for me.

What happens if you do like me? What happens if we start dating halfway through the school year? What happens if you aren't the person I've been hoping for? I'd be even more disappointed and heartbroken than had I simply stayed inside my dreamland. I can't stand to have my expectations unmet. Believe me, things are better off this way. If you actually are an insensitive, emotionally unavailable person, then at least I'll never know this because I'll be too busy playing pretend games. My mind is so much sweeter than what I have to face (and accept) outside my head.

Go ahead and call me pathetic. That's right; I'm an escapist. I don't want you unless you're perfect, and this is why I will always be in the friend zone. The Reality of being with you isn't worth if you fall short of what I expect of you. I'm terrified of being hurt too. Once was more than enough. So laugh at me. I don't mind.