Just Add Water

Parents out of town.

Brother sleeping over at a friend's house.

It's Friday night.

I invite 3 friends over for social drinking and general shit-talking.

Two of them are an established couple. The other one is not.

After much drinking and smoking, the couple leaves.

Cue sexytime. Only not.

So very, very not.

I could recount the experience in its fully-detailed entirety, but I won't. It was that bad XD Jesus, was it bad. I confirmed that 1) it takes me a ridiculously long time for me to be ready, 2) I have a very strong gag reflex, and 3) maybe I just like girls more. Maybe, just maybe.

Oh, and I had to clean up vomit. I'm still trying to figure out the best way to remove the stain from my bedroom carpet. Thank the Deities I'm not a puker.

Sigh. A spectacular night of Fail. Just add water.