I would like to curl up in a ball and think about him without seeming so pathetic.

It's been over 3 weeks since that last phone call, when I gave him the ultimatum to contact me in a month or not to contact me at all, and there's been nothing. I guess he really intends on cutting me off. Aren't I worth keeping in touch with though? Didn't he find value in the things we talked about? Isn't it hard to restart the process of finding someone out there like me--or maybe he doesn't want to find anyone like me.

Will he have lost nothing by losing me? And if so, why does it have to feel the exact opposite on this side?